What does perfect mean, anyway?
Does it mean being the best it can possibly be? If so, I would argue that it is impossible to achieve a perfect sex life. There is always more to learn about yourself, about your partner, and about sex itself. And let’s be real, nothing is perfect, and that is what makes life so great. You keep trucking on until you find better and greater things. If everything were perfect, everything would be the same: Boring! So, we may not have the keys to unlock the gates to heavenly sex, but we may have some tips that will help you gradually get there yourself.
Communication. The foundation of sex. At the end of the day, sex is all about communication, you need to talk to your partner and find out what makes them tick, inside and out. Perhaps they have an area that is more sensitive than the rest, or maybe they have an area that is a complete no-go. You do not want to ruin the mood during the deed because of something that could have been cleared up in a 5-minute conversation. Trust me, no one is going to know your partner’s body better than they do, you can only hope to become second best. But in this competition, everyone is a winner. Improving communication with your partner all comes down to how you listen, truly take in what they say and have genuine interest in their likes and dislikes, the replies will flow naturally from there and you will be gabbing in no time!
Experimentation provides what communication does not, it provides both answers and questions simultaneously. Start small, touch your partner in a new way, in a new place. Gauge their reaction, did it elicit pleasure? Any moans or gasps? There you go, a new way to provide pleasure. I may have been talking about ‘giving’ too much, sex is a two (or more!) player game. Speaking of games, there are plenty of couple-based games that can be played in the bedroom to expand upon your tastes. A personal favourite of mine is the ‘Cake Game.’ It does exactly what it says on the tin, you are going to make a cake, the only catch being you are making it on each other. Grab some melted chocolate, buttercream, and strawberries and slather them all over each other. The best part comes next, take turns licking each other, and enjoy the taste while taking note of what elicits the best reaction, from both you and your partner. For those worried about the mess, or not so sure about food-play, use non-toxic marker pens instead, use the point to put pressure in different areas and draw a nice picture at the same time, create a masterpiece together! And for those who love the classics: Naked Twister!
It all links back to communication as well, ask your partner to experiment on you, experiment by yourself during masturbation, even just do some research! Sex is as old as time itself, there’s plenty of resources to be found to help you figure out what you don’t know about yourself. Being alone does not make you sad or shameful, it just means you are learning. Watch different types of porn, put yourself in the boots of the actors and actresses and find out what you truly like and what role you want to play. When you find what you like you will know, it will speak to you, and then it is just the case of integrating it into your own sex life.
Providing and receiving multiple stimulations at once is a sure-fire way to keep things spicy. There are many ways to do this, spanking, scratching, sucking, to name a few (the three S’s as I like to call them). Any additional sensation only multiplies the pleasure when combined with intercourse. And of course, there are toys, introducing a toy into the bedroom can vastly change the way you have sex, there does not even need to be any penetration. There are plenty of toys that could be used.
Vibrators, dildos, and vibrating dildos, to be honest, your imagination is your limit. With enough thought, a toy used in the right way will be beneficial for both you and your partner. You may even be able to achieve the elusive blended orgasm! A great line of toys I would recommend for this goal would be the ElectraStim range. You can use them alone or together and you use your bodies to make an electric circuit, delivering tantalising shocks whenever you touch and complete the circuit. Sex is not even needed either, some people have claimed to achieve a hands-free orgasm from the shocks alone!
