In 1992, marriage counsellor Dr. Gary Chapman published a book titled The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate. During his work with couples, Dr. Chapman noticed that many of his clients misunderstood each other's emotional needs, leading to relationship frustrations. This observation inspired him to outline the five distinct love languages: Physical Touch, Quality Time, Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, and Receiving Gifts. He theorized that each person has a primary and secondary love language that guides how they give and receive love.

Dr. Chapman emphasized that discovering both your own and your partner's love language is a simple yet powerful way to improve your relationship. The key idea behind his theory is to learn how to love your partner in a way that resonates with them, fostering greater empathy and connection.

So, how do you discover your love language or that of your partner? Chapman suggests paying attention to how someone expresses affection, the things they frequently request from their partner, or what they often complain about in a relationship. His theory posits that people tend to show love in the way they wish to receive it. To further explore your love languages, Dr. Chapman offers a 30-question quiz on his website, which can be a fun and insightful activity for couples.

In this blog series, we'll take a deep dive into each of the five love languages. Today, we're shining the spotlight on Physical Touch!

Understanding the Love Language of Physical Touch

Physical touch is a nonverbal love language often associated with a deep need for safety, comfort, and connection. Some may mistakenly associate physical touch solely with sexual intimacy, but for those who speak this love language, even small gestures—like a light touch on the arm, a gentle kiss on the forehead, or a simple hand-hold—can convey profound affection and emotional support.

For those who identify with physical touch, these tender moments often speak louder than words. The feeling of closeness, even in the form of brief touches, carries a deep sense of intimacy and love.

How to Know If Your Love Language is Physical Touch:

• You’re comfortable with public displays of affection.
• You feel emotionally neglected when your partner doesn’t initiate physical contact.
• You always choose to sit close to your partner.
• You kiss and hug frequently throughout the day.
• Your most intimate memories and cherished moments involve physical connection.

Showing Physical Touch Love to Your Partner

If your love language isn’t physical touch but your partner’s is, it’s essential to find ways to express affection in ways that make them feel loved and appreciated. Here are some tips for incorporating physical touch into your relationship, even if it doesn’t come naturally to you:

1. Holding Hands – Whether it’s during a date night or a casual trip to the supermarket, holding hands can be a simple but powerful gesture of connection.

2. Hug and Kiss Hello & Goodbye – Start and end the day on a positive, loving note by hugging and kissing your partner whenever one of you leaves or returns home.

3. Comfort Through Closeness – If your partner is upset, simply holding them close can provide reassurance and make them feel secure.

4. Give a Massage – Massages allow for intimate physical contact, either for relaxation or as a way to build sexual or non-sexual connection. You can make this even more exciting with massage oils and accessories from our collection.

5. Offer Frequent Touches – Don’t wait for your partner to ask. Simple, frequent touches throughout the day can be powerful reminders of your affection. Whether it's a gentle caress or more intimate touches, explore ways to deepen the connection.

6. Dance Together – Whether at a party or in your kitchen, dancing is a fun way to bond through physical touch while enjoying each other's presence.

Start the Conversation

If you’re unsure about how to express love through physical touch, open a dialogue with your partner. Light some candles, grab a drink, and have a playful conversation about what kinds of physical affection resonate most with them. Make a list of absolute “must-haves,” “would-likes,” and “uncomfortables” to better understand each other’s preferences. This kind of open communication is a key step to deepening your relationship and showing love in a meaningful way.

Understanding and speaking your partner's love language can transform your relationship, fostering a deeper bond and greater emotional intimacy. Whether your love language is physical touch or something else, learning to communicate love in the way that your partner values most is a vital step toward a happy, fulfilling relationship.